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.A third issue is how early in a person's life the trigger was learned.Presumably, the earlier the trigger was learned, the harder it will beto weaken it.In part, that is because the ability to control emotionalreactions to any emotion trigger is not as well developed in early life.Thus, there will be a stronger emotional reaction associated withtriggers learned early in life compared to those learned in adulthood,all other things being equal.In part, it is also because of the possi-bility (suggested by some developmental psychologists and all psy-choanalysts, and now supported by growing evidence from studiesof the brain and emotion6) that early childhood is critical in form-ing personality and emotional life.What is learned then is strongerand more resistant to change.Triggers learned in such a criticalperiod may produce a longer refractory period.The initial emotional charge is the fourth key factor.The strongerthe emotions that were experienced when the trigger was first learned,the harder it will be to weaken its impact.If that teasing episode wasa mild or moderate one, rather than a strong one, if the feelings ofhumiliation, worthlessness, and resentment over loss of power weremild rather than strong, then it would be easier to cool the trigger.The density of the experience is a fifth factor, contributing to thestrength and indelibility of the trigger.Density refers to repeatedepisodes, highly charged emotionally, occurring during a shortperiod of time, that have the effect of overwhelming the person.So,if there was a period when Tim was teased mercilessly, intensely,again and again, it would be a very difficult trigger to diminish.When there is a very strong, highly dense initial emotional charge, Iexpect that the refractory period in later reactions to that trigger willbe long, making it difficult for people to realize in the first second ortwo that they are responding inappropriately.If the initial emo-tional charge was very strong, that alone may be sufficient to extendthe refractory period for that trigger, even if it was not dense orrepeated again and again.A sixth factor is affective style.7 We each differ in the speed of ouremotional responses and the strength of our responses, and in howlong it takes for us to recover from an emotional episode.Myresearch over the last ten years has focused on these matters.(Theconclusion describes four other aspects of affective style in additionto speed, strength, and duration.) Those individuals who generallyhave faster and stronger emotional responses will have a muchharder time cooling off a hot trigger.Let us now consider how Tim could go about weakening the teas-ing trigger.The first step is for Tim to identify what it is that is get-ting him so angry.He may not know that being teased by a dominantperson is a very hot anger trigger.Automatic appraising operates inmilliseconds, before consciousness, before he might be able to becomeaware of what is making him so angry.Perhaps he knows it is teasing,but he doesn't know it has to be by someone who has some powerover him.He may not realize it has any connection to his childhoodexperience of being unmercifully teased by his father.Tim may bevery defensive, not ready to accept that he is becoming angry, or notready to face the fact that his father was cruel.The very first step is tobecome aware that he is feeling angry, to recognize the sensations inhis own body (suggestions on how to accomplish that are in chapter 6on anger), and to understand the effect he has on other people.Let's suppose Tim begins to recognize that he is unduly angry attimes but doesn't understand when or why it happens.Tim's nextstep is to start a log about his anger episodes.He should note thoseoccasions when either he recognizes that he has become angry orothers tell him so.Entered into the log should be as much informa-tion as possible about what transpired in the moments before hebecame angry.A friend or psychotherapist might be able to helpTim figure out from hearing about these episodes that it is teasinginterpreted as humiliation that is his hot trigger.Hopefully, whenhe thinks about this, he may become aware of the script he isimporting, those terrible scenes with his father.I am not certainwhether he must know that in order to weaken this script.It mightbe sufficient for Tim to realize that he is overreacting to teasing, thathe is treating teasing as if it is always meant to humiliate.It might seem that the simplest solution would be for Tim nowsimply to avoid any situations in which he is likely to be teased.That presumes he can get away with never showing up at the com-pany dinners at which he is likely to be roasted, and that he canreadily anticipate other situations when he might be teased.A betterapproach would be to try to cool the trigger.Tim needs to consider how often he perceived teasing either whenit wasn't there, or when it was not meant to humiliate.He must learnhow to reappraise what motivates teasing [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]