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.Mercy grinned gratefully. Thanks, she said, and then,  Howabout you go out there and sit with him.Bring a soda.Make him feelcomfortable.He looks pretty damned miserable.Chase sighed.God.Tommy would get it.Tommy would totallyunderstand why Chase never wanted to talk to his father again as longas he lived.But then, Chase had told Tommy more than he d toldMercy.And whose fault was that? We have any ginger ale? Chase asked, feeling a combination ofresignation and dread. He says it tastes like alcohol.They didn t because really, who buys that if they re not toldthey have to? and Chase walked in with Dr.Pepper and glasses filledwith ice.He poured his dad a glass and took his, leaning back againstthe corner of the couch and watching the part of the movie whereJimmy Stewart and Donna Reed answered the telephone together.Chase could see the sexual tension, the chemistry, and eventhough he always rooted for George Bailey to get out of town, he sawthis moment, between two people who really loved each other, andthought that there were maybe worse things than living poor andworking hard, as long as you were with someone you really cared for. I hate this fucking movie, Chase s father said into the blue, andChase sighed.He picked up the remote and went surfing through thecable box to find something else. Shrek Christmas, Chase said, his voice dead. I mean seriously, Victor continued, like Chase hadn t doneanything. The guy offs himself and gets another chance? No one getsanother chance when that happens.You should know that, Chase.That s like the fucking end-all, be-all of last chances.I fucking hatethat fucking movie.Chase blinked. Yeah, well& maybe when they succeed, theyregret it, you ever think of that? Maybe (she) some people regret it.Victor s look at him was all contempt. If she was gonna regret it,Chase, she wouldn t have gone for the second wrist.Chase s entire body went cold and his vision went black. WE CAN T make noise, Tommy whispered, when they came up fromtheir first kiss. We don t need to, Chase told him seriously.They weregrinding up against each other, and Chase s movements werebecoming more and more frantic, more and more needy.God, theyweren t naked, they weren t on top of the covers.There were no big-ticket sexual acts no oral, no anal, no naked skin, no penetrationjust their bodies, clenching together in the night, their breath mingling,and Tommy s bright black eyes tightly screwed shut as he snuck hishands under Chase s shirt and held Chase so tight he could barelybreathe.Tommy was rubbing, hard, so hard against Chase s thigh.Chasecould feel his erection through his sweats, and it was hard, and hisballs were swollen, and Tommy buried his face against Chase scollarbone hard enough to leave bruises. Oh God! he whispered. God! Please& please please pleaseplease&.Anything.Anything.Oh God, Tommy, anything.Please, just keepmoving keep moving keep moving I want to feel you fall apart in myarms&. CHASE! Dinner s ready! Mercy s voice penetrated the fog inChase s brain, and Chase had to jerk himself back to his living room,where his father was looking at him like he was vomiting pea soup. What the hell s wrong with you? Victor asked, and Chase,caught between those stolen moments with Tommy and this degrading,depressing reality, was forced to blurt out the truth. Maybe she would have regretted it, he snapped, wantingTommy s skin against his with the forcible ache of a sprained ankle orbruised flesh. But she knew you were coming home and that killed thepain.With that, he stood up and walked to the tiny kitchen tableadjoining the apartment dining room.Mercy had set up a table with aturkey in the center, and lovely new placemats.There were candles inthe centerpiece and spangled napkin holders, a tiny turkey, and Chase sstuffing, which he d practiced before Thanksgiving and really wasn thalf-bad.Chase leaned over and kissed Mercy s flushed forehead.Shelooked triumphant and proud and happy, and he wouldn t kill that forthe world. It looks really good, babe, he said, wanting her to know he wasgrateful.God, he was always so grateful to her.Why couldn t some ofthat gratitude translate to need?Mercy looked at Chase s father, still sitting on the couch andlooking shell-shocked. Mr.Summers? she asked curiously. Mr.Summers? Are you going to come eat?Chase s father stood up and wobbled to the table, glaring at Chaselike Chase had kicked his puppy. How do you know it wasn t you?he asked, throwing himself on the kitchen chair with enough force tomake the cheap wooden frame squeak. What? Chase asked.He d almost forgotten what he d just said. How do you know it wasn t you? You were a needy littlebastard.She was plenty happy until you came along, and suddenly allshe could do was cry.Maybe it was you.Victor crossed his arms in front of his chest, and Chaseremembered that moment when he had screamed at the woman in therestaurant and lost that job.He had felt disconnected from his body.Hisactual self had been floating above, watching this really hot guyscreech in this woman s face that she better keep her fucking foulmouth shut, and he couldn t figure out how to make that hot guy calmthe fuck down.He could actually feel himself starting to detach from his body,floating faintly up, as he contemplated grabbing his father by the frontof his rumpled, stained oxford shirt and throwing him down the stairs. Maybe it was, he said, clutching the chair so hard his knuckleswere white. Maybe it was, but I was fucking six, and you were thegrown-up who was supposed to come home and make it all right. Chase? Mercy said quietly. Chase? What are you talkingabout?Chase shook his head and tried to clear his vision.Tommy sbright black eyes kept threatening to intrude, luring Chase into thatpocket of time when they d held each other so close they d had nochoice but to come. Nothing, he mumbled. Victor, could you leave it alone? Mercyworked her ass off, okay? I wasn t even here for three days, and I vegot to go away right after Christmas, could you please, at least for thisone time, not make the rest of the world suffer because you re here?Victor sneered but he sat down.Stiffly, Chase began to dish upfood, because that was apparently his job.They didn t say graceMercy s family wasn t that religious, and Chase would barely admitthere might be a God but after a few minutes, they began to eat.Chase felt some of the tension slip out of the air with the food.Mercy had soaked the turkey in salt water and stuffed garlic under theskin, so it was really good, and the mashed potatoes and gravy werefood for the soul. It s great, Merce, he said, touching her shoulder, and shebeamed at him. Worth coming home to? she asked, grinning, like she knew theanswer.God help me, I d rather be eating Chinese takeout with Tommy.I m sorry.I m sorry.I m so sorry. Of course it is! She can cook, Victor conceded, and Chase and Mercy met eyes. Tell her that, Chase said evenly. She s the reason you re here.Victor s rheumy eyes made contact with Mercy s brown ones andthen skittered away. Good food, he said gruffly. Thanks.They talked a little then or at least Mercy told Chase about herday, managing a retail clothing store in the middle of the Christmasseason [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]